This post was on Facebook a couple weeks ago and every time I think about it I have become even more offended, horrified and shocked any person would ever feel this way.
Caregivers are often the casualties,the hidden victims. No one see's the sacrifices they make.
Victims? Sacrifices??? What a bunch of self indulgent,selfish baloney.
It is a GIFT. A RESPONSIBILITY. A JOY. A CHOICE.
I feel the same way about "Me Time"- again if you need to have "me time" in order to be a parent? You should never have had children. From the second that child starts growing in your womb, "me time" should NEVER be a priority, that child, that gift is first, forever.
The moment you decide to become pregnant or adopt, you will be a caregiver, a parent, and second in line for the rest of your life. Out of all the gifts in my life, the ones I hold dearest are that I have children I can work for, I can love, I can give to, I can help, I can support, I can share with, I can put FIRST.
If you see being a parent of an ill child makes you a victim? Don't have children. You had no business having children if you are unable to rejoice in their life with all of their individual traits that make each of us so special.
No pity. No sorrow. No envy. No resentment.
If you think you have been dealt a bad hand and deserve more from your family,society, community because your child is sick? You have a major problem. You KNEW when you got pregnant that children come to us as individuals with individual needs and wants. You KNEW you had to be willing to put your needs aside for your child be it that they be gifted or disabled.
Each child is unique.
If your child is sensitive or shy each time other children say something cruel or the world is insensitive your heart will break with theirs. If you child is gifted? You will have sleepless nights wondering if the choices you make for their education will allow them to embrace their unique gift and have a happy life or if those choices will forever taint and limit their academic strengths and views on society. If your child is a gifted ballerina or athlete you will struggle to pay the bills, to travel with them for training, to find equal time for your other children and have many sleepless nights wondering what their future holds and how the choices you make will impact their happiness and success as adults.
No matter what traits your child has, there will be hard decisions,but what a gift that you are are trusted with these decisions.
It doesn't matter who your child is, what is unique or different or normal about them, parenting is the hardest job and the biggest joy any person can experience, you are NOT a victim. You are lucky, very very lucky.
When you consider yourself a victim or that parenting a disabled child is a sacrifice? You need to really take a deep look at yourself and set your priorities straight. Your child, with all their unique traits is the greatest gift, and if they have special needs that give you the opportunity to work harder? You are even luckier. You have been given the opportunity to make an even bigger impact.
I am not saying there won't be days that seem to last forever, or days you feel so weary you wonder how you will make it till bedtime, what I am saying is when you do lie your head to your pillow you should feel lucky to have been gifted with children. Not just when they are babies, or toddlers or children or teens.. every single day for the rest of your life.
Gifted not victim.