WARNING: the foods we cook for Abby are safe for her, but not necessarily for everyone. Please confirm any ingredients are safe for you before using in your diet. Food Allergies can kill and the best policy is complete avoidance. Read this post for more info.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Parent Guilt

Today a few Mom's took a huge issue with me posting about the dangers of Miralax. Or commenting that we have found safer ways without the risk.

It was as if they have been feeling guilty about dosing their babies with miralax and I was the straw that broke the camels back. Abby got terribly ill(still battling residual issues)and I would have been THRILLED to have prevented the damage had someone warned me sooner. So I share. If the Drs won't, then the parents should.

What if I KNEW a medicine that you were giving your child was on recall, or had new warnings slapped on the label, wouldn't you hate me if I opted not to tell you?

We all feel guilt when it comes to the choices we make for our children.

I think it is more so in the rapidly growing chronic health issue population.

I remember yelling at my girls a few times when they were little.. I will never forget or forgive myself for the hurt looks that spread across their faces. I feel guilty to this day.

We moved a lot and it was especially hard on Sara, I will always carry that guilt, though we thought we were doing the best we could at the time.

We trusted Drs about vaccines, antibiotics and other medications, and I will carry guilt over that.

I have to admit, as we tried different things the Drs. had recommended over the years, I had some doubts. But I "ignored" it. I made the choice to "trust" the Dr. completely. I should have gone home and read up on the treatment, or asked questions. That is what I feel guilt over. Not that we tried the treatment, but that we did so without doing our own research, we did it because the "Dr said so". When they told me that it was "impossible" that food could be increasing her health issues, I was GLAD to accept that.. because if I did not? I WAS RESPONSIBLE.

Today, we are seeing a lot more parents who are asking the questions. We are also seeing some scary situations of CPS being called because the Dr. disagreed with the parent, be that they, the parent did not want a treatment for their child or that they wanted a second opinion.

When your child is sick, you WANT some Dr. to trust. To have faith in.. to take care of all the medical worries like whether something is safe or not.. but that isn't possible any more, because we know better.

Miralax is a great example. While odds are there will be far fewer who get sick from it like Abby, the fact is it isn't as safe as they say. Drs. have disbelieved it could cause side effects because the sales rep or conference they went says so. If a parent brings in a decent article describing the concerns over PEG in medications more often then not the Dr. will blow them off and tell them to quit googling.

If I had quit googling Abby would be very sick today, maybe not alive.
If I had not questioned, read, and listened to the experiences of other parents Abby might be dead today, despite seeing many, many Drs. who are good Drs. by all accounts.

Treating constipation for "many, not all" cases can be done without chemicals. But see, that involves getting children to eat something different then fries and nuggets. Or that entails some time and maybe therapy to develop better bathroom habits. Maybe reducing stress, increasing fluids.. I did not want to hear that... I was busy, terrified and who wants to take those "pleasurable" foods from their poor sick child? You know what? I did and I am glad I did. Clean food, and foods that work for keeping bowels healthy can be tasty, but you have to make the effort. That is work. ISn't that our job though?

The lines at Starbucks, McDonalds,taco bell, pizza delivery- they would not be multiplying if folks were eating for their bowels.

If you do need interventions there are still better options then miralax- maybe not as easy to hide, or mix or get into your child.. but just maybe worth asking about. Prevent as much parent guilt as you can, you cannot avoid all but ask the tough questions and be prepared to do the work- your child is worth it.


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